Cargo shorts

They're dumpy and dorky, silly and bulky, and way too long, usually falling so far past the knees that grown men end up looking as if they have short little elf legs. The bigger problem, of course, is that the shorts are completely inauthentic in that nobody, except maybe MacGyver or Indiana Jones, needs that many pockets and the men who insist on these shorts are, alas, neither.

Yes, to the dismay of people of fashion, men have continued to wear cargo shorts, apparently unconcerned about their appearance and also unconcerned about being authentic - though in the age of not-so-real reality stars, alternative facts and fake news, perhaps we shouldn't be surprised.

According to a recent study by the dating app Hater - it matches people who hate the same things - guys who love cargo shorts are the least likely men on the site to get a date.

Which, in the interest of public service, brings me to other warm-weather dating deal breakers.

Guys, if you don't want to spend the summer alone, you'll need to stop wearing these things.

Flip-flops and sandals

Your feet are gross - sorry, guys, but it's true - and no one wants to see your hairy toes and ragged toenails. So this is a situation of aesthetics. Also, flip-flops are not shoes and should not be worn outside of your backyard or cottage retreat or beach because they are just too casual for anywhere else. This is also a situation of appropriateness. And if you think women don't notice, think again. We always notice your shoes - or lack thereof. It's just one of our things. Men who pay attention to their footwear tend to pay attention to details, and that is a good thing. Men who wear flip-flops come across as sloppy and out-of-touch about their own shortcomings.

Muscle shirts or tank tops

I've said it before, I'll say it again: Armpit hair is icky. Few people - if any - want to be confronted by it every time you raise your arm to reach for something. And no one wants to be smothered by it during an embrace. It's not only unsightly, it creates a weird sort of forced intimacy. Especially these days when everyone hugs everyone else - even casual acquaintances - hello and good-bye instead of shaking hands. It's just too much of ... you. Same goes for back hair. And too much is worse than not enough.

Backward sunglasses, baseball caps

Do you have eyes in the back of your head? No. So there is no need to wear these items backward. Doing so makes you look ridiculous and somewhat delusional. Being delusional is not an attractive quality in a potential date.

Athletic shorts as casual wear

Yes, they're comfortable, but so are boxer briefs and you don't wear those in lieu of pants, do you? The point is there is a time and a place for most things, and the time and place for those long and voluminous athletic shorts - which, by the way, always look as if they are weighted down by sweat even when they are not - is Saturday morning at the gym. Knowing the right setting and right time for clothing says a lot about a guy. It says he respects not just himself, but those around him and wants to make an effort when he's in public.

Dull, dingy (formerly) white T-shirts

Use bleach. Use OxiClean. White T-shirts are a classic. Think Springsteen, James Dean. A man who appreciates and respects a classic is a good man.

So, guys, if you end up spending the summer alone, don't say I didn't warn you.

Tribune News Service

想約會的男士，請丟棄這些不合時宜的穿著

工裝短褲

它們看起來邋遢、過時、傻氣、肥大，而且太長，通常都會長過膝蓋，成年男人穿上就像長著小矮人一樣的短腿兒。當然更大的問題是，它完全不靠譜，因為除非是《百戰天龍》里的主角馬蓋先或印第安納·瓊斯，沒人會需要那么多口袋，而那些非要穿工裝短褲的人卻不是這樣的角色。

是的，讓時尚人士感到驚愕的是，男人們繼續穿著工裝短褲，很明顯，他們不在乎自己的外表，也不在乎是否顯得靠譜——盡管在這個到處都是不真實的真人秀明星、另類事實和假新聞的時代，也許我們不應該那么驚訝。

根據交友應用Hater（它將憎恨同樣事情的人進行配對）最近所做的一項研究顯示，喜歡穿工裝短褲的男人在這個交友群里最不可能獲得約會機會。

說到這里，為大眾著想，讓我也來說說其他一些破壞在溫暖天氣里約會的穿著吧。

各位男士，如果你不想獨自過夏天，就不要再穿以下這些東西了。

人字拖和拖鞋

你的腳很惡心——抱歉，各位男士，但這是事實——而且沒人想看你長著毛的腳趾頭和粗糙的腳趾甲。所以這是關于美感的問題。而且，人字拖不是鞋，不應該穿著走出你的后院，鄉村度假小屋或者沙灘，因為它們在其他任何場合都顯得太隨意。這也是個是否得體的問題。如果你以為女性不會注意，那你還是再想想吧。我們總是會注意到你們的鞋子，或穿沒穿。這是我們的天性。注意鞋子的男人通常也會注重細節，這是好事。 穿人字拖的男人給人的印象是邋遢，不了解自己的缺點。

圓領無袖緊身衫或背心

我以前說過，現在再說一次：腋毛很惡心。極少有人——如果有的話——愿意在你每次抬胳膊拿東西時看到你的腋毛。沒人愿意在擁抱時因為它而屏息得透不過氣。這不僅是不雅觀，而且會造成一種怪異的讓人不舒服的親密感。特別是在當今，人們——甚至是和泛泛之交——常常以擁抱代替握手，來問候和告別。腋毛這東西，怎么說呢，太扎眼了。背毛也一樣。過分比不足更糟糕。

反戴墨鏡和棒球帽

你腦袋后面有眼睛嗎？沒有吧，所以用不著將它們反著戴。這樣做會讓你看起來很可笑，有幾分妄想癥的樣子。約會時，看上去有妄想癥可不是個吸引人的特質。

把運動短褲當休閑褲

是的，它們很舒服，但緊身內褲也舒服，而你不會只穿著內褲不穿褲子，對吧？我的意思是，大部分事情都要分時間和場合，就那些長長的寬松運動短褲來說，適合穿著的時間和地點是周六上午的健身房——順便說一下，它們看起來總像是因浸了汗而墜墜的，即便實際情況并非如此。懂得什么時間和場合穿什么樣的衣服，很能體現一個男人的素質。它表明這個男人不僅尊重自己，也尊重身邊的人，并且他在公共場合會努力表現這一點。

(本段的翻譯有獎征集中)

所以，男士們，如果你們最后還是單身一人度過夏天，可別說我沒提醒過你們。

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上期獲獎者：北京 中華女子學院 高艷秋