"How are you?"

"Fine, thanks."

It's a social interaction so ingrained that most of us answer automatically. Regardless of whether they've just had a piece of bad news, or are on top of the world, people rarely stray from a handful of acceptable responses: "good thanks"; "fine"; and "not bad".

Unless, of course, they are Zoe Kravitz. The 28-year-old actress recently told Elle magazine that she's increasingly trying to answer that question truthfully.

"When I go to the deli or I'm talking to a waiter or my Uber driver and they say, 'How are you? 'I've answered in an honest way for the first time. Like, 'Oof.'

"Let's let everything come to the surface, even with people we come in contact with for a moment."

Kravitz explained that her new philosophy has been borne out of Donald Trump's election, which has made her want to "connect with everybody".

Hers is a philosophy more of us are adopting. I've grown so bored of small talk with acquaintances that I also try to liven up my answers to "how are you".

It gets a mixed response. New friends, or workmates often don't expect brutal honesty and slightly downbeat - if truthful - statements like 'surviving' or 'average' can take a moment to sink in. But most people relate to it and join in, with their own unvarnished truth. It can be a bonding moment, a show of vulnerability.

At worst, they laugh awkwardly and we move on to more socially acceptable ground.

"You might not want to be glib with friends," says life coach Dr Sally Ann Law. But, she adds: "Honesty can give them a chance to help you, or they might be able (to) share things with you." It is a way to create connections and a powerful path to form friendships, especially among women.

But what about in the workplace? Is there ever a place for a more honest answer to "how are you"?

"You have to be selective about when you do it," says career coach Corinne Mills. "If you're at a meeting and trying to establish a rapport, it's very good to be human and bring in your personality. We're not machines; people have ups and downs. There's something very disarming and real about someone actually saying 'I'm not sleeping well' or 'the kids are driving me mad' when asked how they are."

She advises, however, to keep the response lighthearted and trivial, rather than delving into tragedies. "Saying you had a terrible journey is fine - saying you're going through a divorce, or have awful health is not.

"You don't necessarily want to bring your emotional baggage to the workplace. If you say 'uffff' when someone asks you how you are, you're transferring your negative energy to them. It can make things emotionally heavy."

It may also not be professional. There is a difference between telling a colleague you're still hungover from the weekend, and giving the same level of honesty to your boss who is politely asking 'how are you' and doesn't really want an in-depth response.

"Unfortunately in workplaces, there are politics," admits Law. "So you have to be aware of those. But where possible, it's best to do something towards creating a culture where you can be honest."

"How are you?" What to say ... and what not to.

"I am fine, thank you."

Overly formal with friends and a touch insincere. Use only when your boss asks - they're probably looking for a throwaway positive answer that won't cause them any problems.

"Good, thanks."

Now you're the one being throwaway. A surefire way to pull up the emotional drawbridge and cut the conversation short.

"Very well, how are you?"

Non-committal, but polite and positive.

"Coping."

This could seem glib to those who don't know you well; acquaintances or colleagues. Use only with true pals.

"Hanging in there."

A downbeat response that invites further inquiry why, what's wrong? Don't use if you're not interested in elaborating.

"Oof."

Seemingly one of Kravitz's choice answers. The asker may think you have indigestion.

Daily Telegraph

問候語“你好嗎？”，你應該這樣回答才對

“你好嗎？”“我很好，謝謝。”

人們社交問候的表達方式早已根深蒂固，大多數人隨口即答。無論當下好壞與否，人們的應答無外乎這幾種：“還好，謝謝”，“我很好”，“還不算糟糕”。

當然，除非你是佐伊·克拉維茨。這位28歲的女演員最近接受《Elle》雜志的采訪時表示，自己一直在嘗試如實地回答這句問候語。

“當我去熟食店、或者與餐館服務生或優步司機對話時，他們問我最近怎么樣時，我第一次開始誠實地回答說：‘哦，不太好。’”

“讓我們把實情都說在明面上，即使是對短暫相遇的陌生人。”

克拉維茨解釋說，她這種新的處事哲學源于唐納德·特朗普競選美國總統，這讓她有了“與每個人聯系在一起”的感悟。

我們中越來越多的人現在也開始遵從她這種處事哲學：我已很厭煩和熟人間的寒暄，我也要把回應“你好嗎”的話語變得生動起來。

這樣嘗試會引起聽者不同的反應。新朋友或同事通常不會預料到你會給出嚴酷而誠實的回答，而有些悲觀但卻真實的諸如“還活著”或“一般吧”的表述則可能使人一時難以反應。但大多數人會產生共鳴，也會坦率加入分享各自的處境。這樣就可能出現彼此親和的時刻 - - 相互袒露各自脆弱的一面。

也許結果相反，兩人可能僅是尷尬地相視一笑，然后又回到更為社交禮節所接受的交談方式上。

人生導師薩莉·安·勞博士表示，“我們對朋友不會油腔滑調，”但她又說到，“誠實地表達可以給朋友們一個機會來幫助你，他們或有可能與你分享彼此的經歷。”這是一種建立聯系和結成友誼的強有力的途徑，特別是在女性之間。

但是如果是在工作場所呢？是否真有某個特定的場合需要用更誠實的方式來回答“你好嗎”？

“你必須找準時機，”職業導師科琳·米爾斯表示，“如果你在聚會上正試圖建立友好融洽的關系，那么人性化并帶有自己性格特點的回答就非常不錯。我們不是機器，每個人生活都免不了有起起落落。當被問候時，如果真回答‘我沒睡好’或‘孩子快把我逼瘋了’，聽起來會更真實，讓人放下戒心。”

然而，米爾斯也建議回答要輕松，只提生活瑣事，別探究人生悲劇。“可以提及自己一次糟糕的旅行，但說到自己正在辦離婚或健康狀況欠佳就不適宜。”

“你不必要把自己的情感包袱帶到工作中。當有人問你最近狀況如何，如果你說‘很糟糕’，那么你就把自己的負面能量傳遞給了對方，這會讓他們也感到心情低落。”

這樣回答也不明智。應該區別對待不同情況：告訴同事你還在周末暢飲后的宿醉中，沒問題；但如果老板只是客氣地問一句“你怎么樣”，而不是真在意你的回答是否深入，你還這么坦誠相告就不妥了。

“很不幸，工作場所存在著辦公室政治，”勞博士承認，“所以你必須注意這種情況。但如果有可能，最好采取點行動來營造一個能夠坦誠交流的文化氛圍。”

“你好嗎？”如何應答？該說什么……又不該說什么。

“我很好，謝謝。”對朋友來說，這種回答過于正式，感覺不夠真誠，只適于老板詢問時 - - 他們希望聽到脫口而出的積極回答，這樣不會給他們帶來任何麻煩。

“還好，謝謝。”這樣回答表示你是漫不經心的。這是一種不帶感情色彩的、能隨即結束對話的表達方式，十分奏效。

“我很好，你呢？” 這種表述未置可否，但禮貌且積極。

(本部分的翻譯有獎征集中)

上期獲獎者：北京　青苗國際雙語學校　郝九舟

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